MÁSODIK RÉSZ:

Meanwhile, back on Voyager:

Chakotay burst into the bedroom, dressed in a French maid's outfit.

"Oh baby," said Seven, "Lower your shields and prepare to be astimulated!"

Chakotay did a little pirouette. "I bet you never knew I was so interesting, huh?"

"Believe me, none of us did," she replied.

Suddenly the door opened and an older, fatter version of Chakotay appeared.

"Stop what you're doing," he cried.

"Who, me or her?" Chakotay asked.

"Both of you!" the old Chakotay responded.

"Damn, just when things were finally getting interesting," Seven grumbled.

"Hey, shouldn't you be an admiral or something?" the young Chakotay asked. "You're wearing a lieutenant's pips! I can't BELIEVE this! They've neglected me so much I've actually REGRESSED in character development!"

"Shut up and listen, there isn't much time. I've come from the future to warn you than in 37 years, Seven will dump you for Harry Kim."

"WHAT? Of all the indignities!"

"But there's more! After she leaves you, you'll discover that she's been bedhopping around the galaxy! She's even given you a nasty case of crab nanites!"

"I can't believe this!" the young Chakotay yelled. "I'm going back to my quarters where I can stagnate in peace! I wish the writers had NEVER started paying attention to me!"

"Wait, Commander!" Seven called after him. "Don't go! Resistance is erectile!"

"Forget it, babe! I am outta here!"

Chakotay stormed into the hallway, where he passed Tuvok and Harry Kim. They stared after him as his French maid's outfit flapped in the wind, revealing a sight that neither of them had ever wanted to see. (Well, at least a sight that Tuvok had never wanted to see. Harry was young and still had some issues to work out.)

"You know, I never knew he was so... interesting," Harry remarked.

"I wish I was that interesting," Tuvok said. "Although, in all fairness, sharing a body with Neelix was pretty kinky."

Copyright johnzdrake