No akkor némi Trek humor.

Íme az EndSHAME 'valódi' forgatókönyve... :)

ELSŐ RÉSZ:

Voyager was home! They'd finally made it!

But all was not well. For even as our intrepid adventurers emerged from the transwarp conduit, trouble was brewing back at the hub.

As the Borg Queen was about to melt into a heap of slag, she and Admiral Janeway looked up to see another Borg Queen emerge from a temporal vortex. She was old and chubby, and she had lost all of her beautiful hair, but there was no mistaking it: It was the future version of the Borg Queen.

She strode over to the console, boldly jamming an isolinear storage chip into the bank of computers.

"That's got the cure to the computer virus AND a shield adaptation for the the transphasic torpedoes. Suck on that, bitch!" she snapped at the dying admiral.

The present-time Queen got up immediately and started laughing. "Launch a full invasion of the Alpha Quadrant. After inexplicably going easy on these people for a decade, I'm finally pissed."

"NO," Admiral Janeway cried, clutching at the Borg Queen's strangely delicate ankles. The Borg Queen was just about to kick her head in, when another temporal vortex opened to reveal Fleet Admiral Janeway, stooped over a futuristic walker.

"Stop right there," Fleet Admiral Janeway croaked, "I've got multitransphasic torpedoes in this walker and I'm not afraid to use them. And I have an armor replicating technology that will turn my uniform into an impenetrable neutronium teddy, if that's not enough to convince you."

A temporal vortex suddenly opened behind her, though, and she was seized by a pair of strong arms.

"Who the hell are you?" they all asked.

"I am Khan," the man replied. "And now you will take me to Admiral Kirk."

"He's not an admiral anymore," one of the Janeways piped in. "He's a captain. And he's dead." But no sooner had she opened her mouth than a temporal vortex opened in the floor. A voice could be heard screaming from below: "Khhhhhaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn!!!!"

Khan bowed to the ladies. "Excuse me," he said, and jumped into the vortex.

Just then a vortex opened in the ceiling and out dropped a six-year-old Kathryn Janeway.

"Stand back," she snarled, "I've got a multiquantum transphasic supersoaker here, and I am NOT afraid to use it." Just then a door (not a vortex, mind you, but an actual door) opened and another Borg Queen came in, only this one mysteriously looked more like a 20th century Earth actress named Susanna Thompson while the first two looked more like a 20th century Earth actress named Alice Krige.

"Didn't you die 300 years ago?" snapped the newcomer to the other two.

"Shut up!" the Queens retorted. "You're thinking three-dimensionally."

"No, I'm not! I'm thinking five-dimesionally!"

Then, a temporal vortex appeared behind them and out came an incredibly ancient Admiral Emeritus Janeway waving a biverctoral trilithium-powered PADD. "I've got your interstitial subspace omega-phasic Iconian ectomorphic torpedoes right here!"

Just then the whole ship shook and a wall caved in, revealing the nose of a primitive spacecraft. A short, fat, bald, black man emerged from the craft. "Sorry about that! I knew I shoulda taken a left turn at Alpha Centauri!"

"Who are you?" they all asked at once.

"I'm Zefrem Cochrane, of course," he replied. "Never mind me. Just passing through..."

Fleet Admiral Janeway peered at the man. "You didn't have forehead ridges just now, did you?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," he replied cheerfully as a temporal vortex opened behind him. A svelte arm seized him by the throat, while a woman dressed in a slinky dangerous looking uniform put a knife to his neck.

"Nobody move!" she growled.

"Who are you?" they all asked.

"I'm the mirror universe Admiral Janeway! And I'm in charge now!"

Copyright johnzdrake